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The hamster wheel is worse than Groundhog’s Day. It is constantly running, pushing, doing and staying in the same place. Chasing life, chasing dreams, chasing the one day - instead of living it now. We all have dreams - some short term, some long term. Yet, we miss life if we put off enjoying life until we attain certain goals. I am a compulsive goal setter, so I am totally in favor of striving and reaching - and I am super impatient. Yet, I love the present. The key is balance.
Balance comes when we think of goals from two perspectives: what it is we want and how we want to feel. The thing we want may be a year off, but the feeling that thing gives us we can choose to live now. I am undertaking a renovation. I want it done now - as in yesterday (remember, I’m impatient). The goal is completing the physical structure according to plans. That’s one perspective. Although, I undertook the project to give more space to do things I enjoy, I am looking for a feeling: the spaciousness, ease, calm that that space will facilitate. I can choose to live in those feelings now. I shift my mindset: I tell myself it is here now, at least in part. I begin to notice where I feel spaciousness now, appreciate the moments of calm more, and choose to feel at ease as if the project is complete. By using tools I gather in meditation - awareness, visualization, and noticing - I can create the feeling I am seeking through my goal NOW, in this moment. So, I not only get the physical goal in the future, I get to live my dream now. Say you are having challenges in a relationship, write down how you want to feel in the relationship. hen use your tools to focus on where those feelings are present now - it’s focusing on everything that’s right, not on what’s not working. Continue therapy or counseling to fix the problems, but in the in-between time you get to enjoy the relationship more now. Learn the tools for living your dream life today in meditation or in the Thursday Living Well group. If you’d like to explore this deeper with me, email me to set up a complimentary time at julia@thejolielife.com. Love, julia xo Getting your intuition back is the most valuable self development you can ever do. It is the no fail, no lie, no bullshit, truth serum. Listen to it, and it will tell you what to do. Getting your intuition back is the most valuable self development you can ever do. It is the no fail, no lie, no bullshit, truth serum. Listen to it, and it will tell you what to do. Childhood, for most of us, impaired our ability to access our intuition. When we listened to intuition and told grown ups, we were corrected, ridiculed, and told we were wrong. You may ask why is daddy hurting me? He isn’t hurting you, he loves you. Why is mommy crying in her bedroom. Mom’s not crying. She just got something in her eye. We accepted what they said, although internally we knew they were lies. These small betrayals to our internal compass slowly erode our confidence in our intuition. It’s essential you get your confidence back. Break the habit of doubting the voice which is quite clearly telling you what is going on. It's hard to do. You will learn to hear yourself in Be Your Own Guru, but begin by militantly being on your own side. You need to trust yourself - it’s the key to confidence and getting your intuition back. Relying solely on our rational mind - the alternative - does not nourish you. Meditation is helpful in this step. When you give space to listening you will hear intuitive hunches and create the internal space for them to percolate up. That’s valuable stuff. Love, Julia xo A woman stopped by jolie the other day to share her art. Having been a psychologist for many years - in her awakening, she decided to devote herself to creative, uplifting art for others. Loving to serve, but her practice of psychology no longer had her jumping out of the bed in the morning. I loved how she purposely referred to the change, not as mid-life crisis, but as awakening. Awakening is the courage to realize something isn’t working the way it use to. We are all alive, changing and evolving. It doesn’t make sense that everything we chose 10, 15, 20 years ago still is going to work for us.
As many of you know, I grew up in the Bible belt and Sunday School meant memorizing Bible verses. One of my favorites, I carry with me still is “I came that you may have life more abundantly.” Abundant. That is what life is. Boring. Dull. Draining. Exhausting. Stale. Do not describe abundance nor should it describe life. When we find ourselves not jumping out of bed, not truly happy, it’s time for awakening. Awaken to what your soul truly wants. What is it that makes you feel alive? What do you want life to feel like? How would you live your day? It’s a tricky question sometimes. You don’t know what you want? Maybe you haven’t even allowed yourself to consider the question. Maybe you can’t see any options due to work, kids, education. Or perhaps, you feel past decisions set you on a road you can’t exit. Awakening begins with listening. So here’s how we can listen: Sit in a quiet place. Invite clarity and light in. Begin to focus on your breath. Continue the focus on your breath until you feel quiet inside. Now ask yourself the following questions. Where am I now? Write down where you are physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually - positive and negative. Then make your wish list - here’s where I want to be. What would life look like? Think of the feeling you want to have. From here create a no thank you list of any negative feelings, negative situations, unhealthy relationships or coping habits you have. The keeper list is last. List all you want to keep what makes you feel good, alive, and fills you. Now from listening to action. Create more of what’s on the keeper list and where you want to be. In meditation, ask how - the answers will slowly come. Begin to house clean your life by looking at the no-thank-you list. What can you release now? What can you replace in terms of more positive habits or thoughts? What can you experience less? Begin baby steps to unwind yourself from the negative thoughts, relationships, habits and situations that keep you stuck. Love, Julia xo Gratitude is the key practice to transform your everyday life. Gratitude is the secret sauce that turns our everyday into something magical. Offering thanks daily is the quickest way to change our mood and perception of our life. Thanksgiving magnifies the good stuff and makes everything else fade into the background.
I cringe as I think of times in my life that have felt dull and constraining. I remember stretches that felt like the laundry cycle of a washing machine: wake up, cook, tidy up, change diapers, run errands, read bedtime stories, rinse and repeat--over and over and over. Living like that can kill you, both figuratively and spiritually. It is definitely not the space in which relationships grow and expand; new possibilities do not easily present themselves in that place; nor do children feel boundless love coming from their parent. It is not the place of joy, beauty, and connection. But it is an opportunity to remake your life. The practice of gratitude transforms cleaning up the third spill of the day into something closer to the sacred. Milk spills. Gratitude changes our perspective. The spill is not a burden. We may still be unhappy about it, but frustration dissipates. Thanks for the child drinking the milk. Thanks that we have milk. Thanks that there can be more milk to fill the cup. Thanks that you're there to care for that child. Thanks for the ability to clean it up. Thanks for the cow, and the farmer, and the grocery store. The list is endless. Any and all events in our lives are elevated by gratitude. The color and energy of joy and happiness are intensified. We more deeply appreciate good when we infuse our experience with gratitude. The people around us feel more appreciated and seen when we express our thanks for them and for what they do. Transformation happens when we give thanks for the small and big things. Our eyes open to what is happening around us. Our hearts lighten because we connect with the present moment. We become fully present to what is. Gratitude is something we consciously must practice until it becomes as natural to us as breathing. Join jolie in your journey of gratitude. Meditation is an excellent opportunity to reflect and sink into the good. Also, the Thursday Mom 2 Mom is a great way for mothers to up level their day with little effort. Please share your gratitude practices with us on Facebook and in person. with gratitude, Julia Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, focuses us on where our power lies. Our generative ability is in the present moment. The past is gone and the future is a mystery. Where we have influence, where we can change, where we can make a difference is in the moment that exists for us now. The present moment is our touchpoint to ourselves, the Divine, and each other. We experience God from where we are--yesterday's experience no longer exist and what we experience tomorrow will be in the now moment. The same holds true for our relationship with others and the work we do for ourselves. Deep within us, we know this is true. However, it is a challenge to our will and strength to focus our concentration on the present action. It is easier to put off to tomorrow the work of today. It is easier to dwell on past mistakes, than to act this very moment. But, right now is all we have so procrastination does not serve us. When we say I'll eat clean tomorrow, I'll begin to relax tomorrow, I'll enjoy my partner tomorrow--tomorrow never comes in the way we want it to be. We find ourselves in the same place or even more behind when it comes to neglect of self or others. Rejuvenation, growth, fun, opportunity is to be enjoyed now. Take a relationship that is strained. Someone does something kind to another. Being in the now means taking the kindness offered in the moment. The now is not recalling all the past failings or speculating that this change will not last. To live whole, we take each gesture, each moment for what it is without putting layers of hurt or expectation on top of it. In this way, we live whole, in the present. The practice of living in the now is clearly illuminated by Tolle. For those that want to dive in deep, read his book and you will not be disappointed. It is at Jolie, and a book I constantly recommend. A baby step, however, is to begin with mindfulness. Mindfulness can be cultivated in very simple ways. Merely pausing before going through a doorway can bring you into the moment. When speaking with someone look them in the eyes. Practice meditation. Move slowly when possible. All of this will connect mind, body, and spirit to the present moment. I encourage you to practice on your own and in community with Jolie. Live whole, Julia Children spend a lot of time at play. Imagination is a large part of children's play whether it is pretending that the toy car is on a road picking up passengers or they are in the bike race of their lives. As we become adults, we put aside play and settle into more serious pursuits.
The cost of abandoning play is that life becomes too serious. Reintroduce play into your world with your imagination. When you find your thoughts wandering into "what if" territory, follow them and see where they take you. Oftentimes, you will be amazed where you end up. Some of my most genius decisions and best inspiration has come from imagining my life differently than it is now. When I lived in the house before the one I live in now, I use to imagine having windows all over my house and french doors that let out into the garden from the back of the house. I wanted to see my garden from every room in my house. When I started looking for a house, I found to my amazement just that house I had imagined at the perfect price. I knew it was for me. Let your mind loose and see what happens. |
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