Beauty, Wellness, Recipes, Food
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You are a beautiful person inside and out. Is it hard or easy to feel that? Can you feel your beautiful qualities as much as you feel your external beauty? Humans are beautiful creatures. Babies and children feel their innate irresistibility.
Beyond that age maintaining that sense of beauty is intentional because so much negative body image energy intrudes on what we once knew ourselves to be - beautiful. Negative body image comes in many forms: self hate, self criticism, non-acceptance, denial, and even abandonment of the self. Rather mild or extreme, not fully believing yourself beautiful inside and out limits what you feel capable of, what you think you can achieve, your self worth, how you take care of yourself - how you feed and nourish yourself. Feeling beauty confidence is something that I have worked for; as a mother, I worked also for my children to always feel beautiful. And, at the heart of jolie, I want everyone to fall in love with themselves and feel beautiful. So, how do you do the work of seeing your beauty? Here are my practices and practices that have moved clients into greater self love, feeling beautiful, and acceptance of their body. 1. Look at yourself. Children love looking at themselves, not out of vanity, but because they like what they see. Bring yourself back to that age and behold yourself in a mirror. Find something to admire, to give loving attention to for a moment. If this is hard - as you look repeat "yes" to yourself. If this is easy, go further admire more, blow yourself a kiss, tell yourself how special you are. 2. Use negative self talk as ideas to challenge. How do you know the idea is negative? If you have to ask, you know it is not one of love. I view negative self talk just as a storyline that gets repeated. That story line can be edited or revised at your discretion. You are the chief scriptwriter for your thoughts. I always suggest revision - its a non-resistant path to change. If you are recycling a self criticism, begin by softening the criticism. Then, once you've mastered that - entertain the thought that the opposite could be true. Explore evidence for that new thought. Over time you will change the thought through non resistance and curiosity. 3. Up the volume on what you do find beautiful about yourself. Write down what you love and focus on reminding yourself of those things. This allows you to spend more time in positivity. Positive thoughts magnetize other good feelings. 4. Exercise improves your outlook as well as how you appreciate what our bodies can do. Part of negative self image is not allowing yourself to celebrate what your bodies can do. When emphasis is placed on what you cannot do or on illness, you lose sight of your physical achievements and your wellness. 5. Nature is as a great healer as food for your body and mental outlook. Sometimes I meditate on the quote by Hermes Trismegistus “As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…” The beauty you see all around you and the wonder of the universe is simply a reflection of the beauty within you and the beauty that is you. 6. Be patient with physical change and habits that support a healthier you. The body can change and heal. Yet, it takes time. So, if there are parts of you you are unhappy with, give yourself 6-12 months to work on the change you want to see. If you don't want to commit the time to change, commitment the time to accepting that part of yourself. 7. Take care of yourself. Attention is love. The more attention you give to yourself, the more in love you will fall. Take time to take care of yourself every day. 8. Decide you are beautiful. Your perspective is as much a determinant of reality as anything else. I hated New York when I first moved there - but one day, I just decided that I was going to love New York City. So everyday, I’d look for one thing to love. Now, I can't see myself with it. It’s never to late to start loving yourself and seeing your beauty. And, there is no limit on beauty or love. Body confidence is a gift I have not because it came naturally to me, but because I cultivate it. I expect health and I appreciate the shape and curves of my body. Simone de Beauvoir, a wonderful French groundbreaking feminist, said, “To lose confidence in one's body is to lose confidence in oneself.” I am ultimately all I have, so if I lose confidence in myself, I lose my connection to my inner wisdom and God. That I cannot let happen. So I developed a personal practice which reconnects me to confidence.
It is not an overnight transformation, but with daily practice of expectation, cooperation, and adoration you will develop more body confidence and find yourself moving through the world more confidently. As you develop confidence, you will see greater health, ease in making changes you desire for yourself, and more outward confidence. with love, Julia xo Ginger and turmeric are my staple as I head into fall. As you get older, inflammation can wreak havoc on your body. I am trying to sneak it in wherever possible to feel my best. This Labor Day whip a Ginger Turmeric Mocktail for 2.
So many times people who loved me told me no. I expressed something I wanted to do, a goal, a dream. Then came the reasons why it was not possible, practical, prudent, or acceptable. Unfortunately, the person who told me no most often was me. This too is true for many of my clients and women I encounter in group programs.
Why do we disapprove of ourselves so willingly? Partly it’s an internalization of what is expected of us. We also naturally seek what is familiar and safe. Our desires by definition lead us into unfamiliar territory with the risk of failure or disappointment. We are so used to looking after others and the needs of friends and family, that we easily dismiss doing anything which may jeopardize their acceptance and conflict with their needs. To be truthful - there are expectations of us - but not as many as we think. Write down something you wish to do or wish to have now. Then write down all the expectations that are blocking you. In my own life, when I wanted to return to work after being a stay at home mom for 14 years, I had a list of why I couldn’t. The kids needed me to be available, what if they got sick and needed to stay home, how will I fit in all the extracurriculars, how could I continue my routine of self care which would demand more time when I was already taking time away to work. Basically, I was disapproving of my desire out of fear that my children would see me as a bad mom. Most expectations are like a mirage. We feel internally like we are expected to do something or be available for someone, but in reality most people are in support of our happiness, can accommodate change, and are willing to support you in living a full life. You must support you too! My children were actually fine. They knew how to tend for themselves more than I realized. Sick days were few and manageable. And, they loved the happiness and joy it brought me. All the apprehension I had was simply my internal resistance based in fear and judgement. Expanding yourself frequently triggers a no. We internally say no because we feel underprepared, undeserving, or not enough. When I feel this, I stop and approve of my desire and my fears. To do this, I follow the subsequent steps. I acknowledge my feelings and resistance. I am thankful for them. I affirm that I can only desire to do that which was made for me or I was made for it. Desires arise from your heart. I approve of my heart desires. I examine them to see if there is anything to learn from the “nos” I feel. For example, one thing that helped the transition was streamlining life by decluttering both space and schedules. I spend time feeling into how good it feels or will feels in the experience of that desire. Then I choose one small action to take in the direction of my dream. This gentle path will guide you forward. How many tradeoffs did you make in the last six weeks offering up your own pleasure, wellbeing, or peace of mind for the good or pleasure of someone else? How often to you go to bed late, indulge, or buy something not because you wanted to, but because you had to do it?
Well, December is over and now it is time to return to you. If that seems impossible - many find that even in say May they are constantly putting themselves aside for others - 2020 is a wonderful opportunity to consider making different choices. In our culture, women are raised in the expectation of choosing other people’s happiness instead of their own. It is very difficult, if not impossible to say yes to our own joy, our own happiness, our own pleasure. We have no experience prioritizing our own pleasure or investing in ourselves if it inconveniences someone else. But it is easy, as natural as breathing, to say yes to obligation and responsibility. Let this year be the year of both. Saying yes to your obligations and responsibilities and yes to your own pleasure. I began this yes to my pleasure this morning. I chose to go to Bar because it makes me feel good inside. I began my day with movement dancing to my favorite song to get my blood pumping. I postponed brunch to 12 so the feeling of lightness could return to my body after last night’s feast. Think of three ways this week you can say yes to your own pleasure. Say yes to an investment in your own happiness, health, and wellness. Love, Julia xo P.S. This is a new decade to live intentionally and create the best you.  When you feel bored, sad, cranky, or moody try a dance break. Put on your favorite song and dance away for 3 minutes. Daily dance breaks help to release energy as well as build positive energy. It is a great way to take your mood up a notch.
My favorite dance break songs: I'm Not Afraid - with light, Julia  A rose quartz meditation is a wonderful way to increase the love you have for yourself and others.
To do one:
For the best benefit, repeat daily for 14 days. Let me know how you grow with this meditation. Love, Julia xo  Honoring your boundaries is a huge act of self love. It’s an action which takes attention, trust in your internal GPS, and a deep commitment to you. Realizing that your well being is more important than meeting the expectations or standards of another.
This year I want to cultivate a mindful relationship with money. Money is essentially energy. An energy that can be used for validation, control, nurturing, and expansion. My desire is to use it in ways that nourish, cultivate, and expand. As soon as you establish a boundary the universe often sends a situation to teach you more about your boundaries. My daughter’s birthday was mine - her gift expectations exceeded mine. I did not want to disappoint her and I recognize gifts are her love language, but also wanted honor myself. First, I made space for me to consider her request. I said maybe, but said I needed time and asked her if it was okay with her to receive her gift post-birthday. She said yes and did not ask about it at all. Many times during contemplation I almost said fuck it I will get the Chanel for her. It will make her happy. Each time I stopped short - it did not align with me. Then I decided I would not spend that much and asked the universe to bring the perfect gift that honored me and her. The same day I found a beautiful Roger Vivier clutch at 85% off retail. I gave it to her that evening and she was delighted. When we honor ourselves, our boundaries, the universe meets us. Not only that, but it’s a wonderful lesson and principle that your love for others does not need to come at the cost of compromising yourself. I invite you to deepen your own awareness of your boundaries. It will make you freer and happier. Love, Julia xo  A rose quartz meditation is a wonderful way to increase the love you have for yourself and others.
To do one:
For the best benefit, repeat daily for 14 days. Let me know how you grow with this meditation. Love, Julia xo  Self-care is practicing caring for yourself as you would a dear friend. You make self care a priority because when you feel good and good about yourself you are naturally kinder to yourself and others. If you have a hard time seeing the correlation, think about when you are hangry - you act angry not because you want to bite someone’s head off, but because your deprivation, hunger, makes it hard to be kind.
Likewise, when we feel like the best version of ourselves, kindness and giving flow more abundantly and effortless from us. Self-care will energize and recharge you because it turns us on and makes us present to our lives. You don’t need a lot of free time or to start a new exercise routine, or start eating clean to engage in caring for yourself - in fact, all of those things are usually the effortless outflow of self-care. cared for and good. with love + light, Julia  Meditation, journaling, self reflection, and all spiritual practices are much easier to do daily if you create sacred space to do so. It is the spot set apart for you to engage in deepening your spirit, centering yourself, and grounding - your clarity spot.
When the kids were little it was a struggle to find time for myself to be. However, the daily practice of sitting and reconnecting with yourself and the power beyond you is what keeps you calm, happy, and energized. At that time, I had a chair and a candle in the living room. When I lit the candle, the kids knew mom was taking a 10 minute time out. Now the kids are bigger, I enjoy more private corner of my bedroom for myself. How to Set Up Your Clarity Spot: Find a place in your home where you feel comfortable. You want to be able to unwind here, not a spot where you feel on display or your guard needs to be up. Think of the place you feel happiest or most relaxed. Add something to make it special and denote that this is a space set apart: a candle, pictures of those you love, a special book, journal, a plant or flowers. My favorite way of creating this space is looking around the house for my favorite things or meaningful items and using those for my clarity space. What you place there can change based on your mood, goals, or the time of year. Mine changes throughout the year. I try to keep it visually aligned with my goals and how I want to use the space. I may add a shell I found at the beach to remind me to relax; pretty leaves the kids collect to take me back to my favorite place, the woods; or in spring a potted daffodil welcoming change. If I am working on a big project, I may put something there that reminds me of my “why” in doing the project. I try my best to spend time in my clarity spot each day, even if it is only for a minute. Yesterday was hectic, so my time was spent there doing nothing, but taking in the love of the Universe with each breath. Now that Irina is at NYU, she and I often have fitness dates in NYC. We take different classes, enjoy sweating together, and go for a meal - the restaurant depends on how demanding the workout was. Really sweaty = grabbing something and eating in the park. Now that Irina is at NYU, she and I often have fitness dates in NYC. We take different classes, enjoy sweating together, and go for a meal - the restaurant depends on how demanding the workout was. Really sweaty = grabbing something and eating in the park.
Our date is a miracle. I used to find working out at the bottom of my to do list everyday. But, as the number of my children grew, exercise crept up and up the list. Shocking...I got busier and found more time to exercise. It was a necessity. People ask me all the time, how do I do it. The key is extraordinary self care. Self care is not vanity, it is not indulgence, it is not optional. It is the gold in my day that gets me smiling from one day to the next and keeps me from getting sick and all stressed out. Working out is most effective and can be habit forming, IF it is not tied only to losing weight or getting stronger, BUT to feeling happier. When I finally tapped into the amazing, restorative powers of exercise, I went from rarely working out to it being a need and oftentimes something I choose to do as entertainment. The key is a workout which helps you soar and variety. I like something to challenge me, but is doable. I need a pace which allows me to check in with myself - that way it lifts my butt and my mood. The jolie row program is based on just that, and is about to get even better. In the fall we will begin ELEVATE. The program includes:
Love, Julia xo Simply put, it clears my vision - providing clarity on what’s happening now and a glimpse of the path before me. I get to heal and release the past, empower the present, and inspire the future.  Readings have the connotation of being something scary where you walk into a dark room that feels a bit witchy with a very strange person there - but it’s not. It’s a conversation with the most intuitive mother ever. She illuminates the past; we talk about my life, relationships, challenges, and future goals.
Before the session, I set an intention and think about the questions I am holding in my heart. Then I stay open. After sessions I feel lighter, brighter, more empowered, with more clarity and direction. Readings don’t take away our free will. Instead, they are a great source of general guidance for me to keep in alignment with my path and purpose. Readers are able to see glimpses of future events, but the unfolding is completely up to me. Sessions are like doing a cleanse. A cleanse is a quick, intensive reset that sets us up for training and taking care of ourselves better. A session is like years of therapy and prepares us to better use the coaching, therapy, and self development we already do. It’s such an important tool. Love, Julia xo Recently, I've been feeling heavy. It is from all the end of school activities, not eating right by eating on the run, and everyday going until I hit that wall which short circuits my brain and drives me to bed. After my son's middle school graduation, I was talking with a group of moms feeling the exact same way.  So, how to feel light now that summer is here?
1. Schedule in time to do nothing. Create a buffer that allows you to partake in unexpected pleasures like having a latte outdoors with a friend, sitting at the pool with your kids, or reading a magazine. I am putting daily time at our pond club in the late afternoon. 2. Eat more raw foods. Going to the farmers' market inspires good, light summer salads with fruit and raw vegetables which fill you up and are satisfying without making you lethargic in the summer heat. 3. Take life outside. Being outdoors reminds us the world is large and limitless. It inspires and calms. Eat outside, Camp in the backyard with the kids. Swim. Hike. Garden. Bike. Let me know what you think! Love, Julia xo |
Words to Live ByI am not a heroine, but I have chosen the person I want to be. Categories
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